For Chance. I know youll see it here.

Chance, listen, I don't know how many times you want me to apologise. I explained everything in great detail. Im am still here, talking to you and being your friend, een though its really not easy right now. I told you when this started that it wasn't a forever thing. im in highschool. youre jujst graduating. we have our entire lives ahead of us, and it's better this way. If you need me to explain it again, i will. call me. after this weekend because imtrying to stay distracted. ill explain it one more time. then you have to promise you'll accept it, because i am so sorry. i neer wanted to hurt you, and what frusterates me most is that you KNOW that. Thats why I did this now, instead of months from now. it would have been harder then. and you know it. But the bottom line is that I had to. For both of us. You don't have to believe me, and you probably wont, but thats the truth. I am sorry. I really am. Very sorry, because you know what I think of you. And you know that I have nothing say about you. And I don't. I HAVE NOT moved on. Apparently you really don't know me at all. If you think I could ever do that, then you don't know the first thing about me. Once again, Im sorry that I had to do this. I hate myself for it. I take full responsibility and I feel terrible. But I had to. And that's what Im focusing on. I cant going on feeling this way, and you shouldnt either. We werent right for each other, Chance. If you spend a little time, really thinking about all the facts, all that happened while we were together, youd know that too. You would see that I was never right for you. You deserve so much more than me. You need someone who can love you and isnt hung up on another guy that she'll never get back. You desere that, so go and find it. I will move on eventually. But I NEED YOU TO KNOW that I have not. I dont move that quickly. It took me a year just to accept another guys proposal after Kyle. It would never have worked. It was wrong from the begining. I broke all my rules. Was it worth it? Absolutely. I loved every moment, and regret nothing. If youdon't agree, or if you're mad or refuse to understand, thats ok. I wont be upset, or angry at you, or even suprised. You should be upset. But you have to try and get past this. Because it happened. And I know from experience that all the tears, anger, depression and wishing in the world cant change whats done. It doesnt bring people back. Im so sorry. Please believe me. I have to end this because im in a trailer at a camp ground trying to enjoy myself. Just elieve me. Youll be fine. -Ashleigh