How did we let this happen?
We let love slip right through our hands.
Your hands.
I'm still holding on.
Holding on to the hope that someday,
You might love me again.
You might let yourself love me again.
I know you do.
I see it in the way you look at me.
In the way your eyes scream out.
I know that you think you don't deserve it.
I know life for you has not been easy.
I know that you don't get the love that you deserve.
No one appreciates you like they should.
And because of this,
You think you are worthless.
BUT YOU'RE NOT.
You CAN be loved.
And you are.
If you would only open your eyes,
You would see that I am right here,
Waiting for you to come back.
To realize.
You have someone who loves you,
More then life itself,
Right here.
I'm right here.
And I would do anything to hold you again.
I want to hold you again.
I miss you.
So much.
Ive never felt this way before.
Never loved someone so much,
It made me cry.
I told myself I could get over you.
But I can't.
It only hurts worse as time goes by.
And seeing you
Makes me feel dizzy.
Like I lost you,
somehow,
I lost everything that meant anything to me
In a matter of ten minutes.
And I want you back.
Please come home.
Just.
Come.
Home.
Signed forever yours,
Ash.

Me and Emily

I spent my day in the mind of a two year old.
We chased butterflys,
And smelled flowers,
And rolled around in the grass.
We let time,
And everything related to it,
Slip out of our hands.
It had been a long time since I allowed myself
To just let everything fall off.
To ignore reality.
I looked into her big hazel eyes,
And found what I was missing.
That innocence.
That wonder and amazement with everything around me.
I had had it once.
Not so long ago.
But the dark hour of reason had recently pierced its way in.
Into my soul.
And it stung.
I'd much rather look on life with the eyes of a child.
Like Emily.
Running and jumping through the flowers,
Through the woods,
Through the creek,
Laughing and smiling,
And holding my hand.
I'm regressing.
Its been decided.
Kids know what life is all about.
They understand that every fleeting moment is beautiful.
Wonderful.
And they embrace it.

Promises...
"I will never break your heart."
"I promise."
I let you in.
Gave you everything.
Placed my fragile heart in your hands,
And let myself love you,
Which is something I had wanted for a long time.
Now,
I look around me,
And all I want is you back.
For you to come home where you belong.
With me.
We all know how the story ends.
Or rather,
How it should end.
"Happily Ever After"
Yeah right.
I don't want much.
It is easy to make me happy.
All it takes is your arms.
Your smile.
Your touch.
Your eyes.
Only you.
Only you can make this better.
People keep saying,
"Well, he wasn't right for you."
I nod, and agree,
But then, I think,
"What am I saying?
He is PERFECT for me.
He is EVERYTHING I ever wanted. "
And now, you are gone.
And I am left,
Retracing every line,
Going over all of our conversations in my head,
Trying to figure out where we went wrong.
To see the signs.
To find the point where I did something to lose your love.
The only love that I felt safe in.
I love you, damnit.
And i WANT YOU BACK.
Please come back.
I don't know what to do without you.
The simplest way to say it is,
"I miss you"

I see you everywhere.
You are in the songs on the radio.
In the songs in my head.
I think they know I lost you.
And they're trying to find ways to torture me.
You're in the grass,
Your outline and mine,
So close together,
Where we starred at the stars that I now see your eyes in.
Your face is engraved on the gray walls
Of every building our intertwined shaddows crossed.
I see tic-taks in my sleep.
I hear your voice in my head
"You walking paradox"
"You hippy"
I'd never been insulted in such a loving way before.
Every time I touch my guitar,
I see your fingers dance across the fret board.
I see us,
Sitting so close,
Watching our favorite movie, and quoting every line,
Laughing so hard,
And I see you rolling your eyes when that song comes on.
I hear that song in the rain.
I hear it in the shower.
I hear it in my dreams.
I hear it EVERYWHERE.
Your fingerprints are on my hands,
My stomach,
My head,
My heart,
When the wind blows,
I feel your hand running through my hair.
I see your smile,
Your eyes,
In everyone I pass on the street.
I hear your voice,
Your empty promises,
When I watch television.
When I am alone in a quiet place.
And every time I look in the mirror,
I see you.
I see your eyes instead of mine.
I see you.
I can't get you out of my head.

Nothing lasts forever. No matter how much you might think it will. No matter how much of yourself you pour into it. You can turn your world upside down, and yourself inside out, and you will still lose in the end. That's what love is. A cold, and broken song, echoing through delapidated ruins in hollow hearts. It is the loud cry of the ocean waves at night. Beautiful, but desperate, and haunting. Captivating, but reckless, and dangerous. Its always colder then it looks, and saltier then you expect. Salty like tears, and blood. Like the essence of wasted time. Like the essence of wasted hearts. It's decieving. But lonliness is terrible. Unavoidable, but horible. It's terrifying. More so then giving someone everything, like I did. So, now, with a heavy, bruised, shattered, glued, and duct taped, I stand back up, dust myself off, and attempt to reassemble the components of reality. Or rather, the opposite of reality. Of the world I created inside my head for the two of us. The beautiful world that you tore down with one foul swoop. In five words. Five sharp, ravenous words, that decided our fate. That I prayed would change. But I now understand that they won't. And I can't waste time pretending they will. So now, for a short time only, I am offering a special, one-time deal on a previously owned heart. Slightly tattered, alittle dirty, but in decent repair, and desperate for someone. Terrified of being alone. Hurry now while supplies last.

The Rain Man and Little Miss Sunshine

Well, there once was a rain man.
Thought he didn't need love.
And there was no use in tryin,
He could never be enough.
He spent so much of his life,
In a dark and empty room
Till she shed a little love light,
And showed him aother tune.
Oh yeah, Little Miss Sunshine
Held the world in her hands.
She was so self relient.
Not gonna trust any man.
Thought her life was completed.
But she was all alone at night.
And with a touch of healing rain,
He made the darkness alright.

Chorus
And the rain fell down on the daytime,
And filled up her empty soul
And the sun shined down on his darkness
And showed him he wasn't alone.

Yeah, our story goes on now.
Looks like they both found a way
To evenly share
The dark and the day.
And now little miss sunshine
Sings in the rain.
And the rain man he fell in love.
Now he'll never be the same.

(chorus)

So what is the lesson,
In my words and rhymes?
Well, it's the only sollution
To make it through in these times.
Yeah, we all need an anchor.
Somethin willing to hold
When it seems all our planning
And our struggles unfold.
Now, they've both found each other.
And the sun and the rain
Well they rise and fall together
In all that life throws their way.
hmm hmm hmm...
CHORUS

I Have Missed You

There's that smile.
The one that takes my heart, and melts it.
Right down to a liquid.
That sarcastic, "You've flipped your lid" grin that you always give me.
It reminds me that you love me.
And there's that touch.
The one that I long for, and miss, even when I have it.
The one that makes me forget everything bad.
Like there is nothing but sunshine and flowers in my life...
And orange tic taks.
Those eyes that put the city lights to shame.
That radiate a glow around us.
And that voice.
Sweet, deep, and, (this is sooo out of character for me), but,
Sexy.
You make me laugh!
God, do you know that?
Do you have the slightest idea of how much Ive missed you?
Do you know that while you were out,
Looking for yourself in space,
I was waiting for you to come home?
Welcome home, love.
My love.
My saving grace.

Thank You

Thank you for listening.
Thank you for being the one I fall on.
And never asking for anything in return.
Thank you for being there,
Unceasingly,
And in a way that no one else ever was.
Thank you for understanding me.
For seeing that I am not that difficult.
Thank you for letting me in.
And not pushing me away.
Thank you for letting me know you.
For considering me a part of your life.
Thank you for a smile that makes me smile,
And a laugh that makes me laugh.
Thank you for loving arms to catch me,
And for the toughness when I needed to learn to be on my own.
Thank you for the most amazing gift,
The gift of friendship.

Never Never Land

Here's a little cheese for ur macaroni!

Lately, this world's feeling heavy.
Like the pressure could drown me alive.
And as I'm losing my grip on my innocence,
Im losing my one safe place to hide.
The streets of my dreams are getting narrower,
And the sun seems to shine less each day,
And the walls that once seemed so proverbial
Are hastily fading to gray.
There's an emptiness somewhere inside of me
That only gets deeper with time,
And the only think giving me strength in this battle,
Is the whisper that tells me you're mine.
So lets get away from this madness.
Lets run off where no one can find.
Our one special place lost in secret.
Tonight all the stars are aligned.
And we'll fly away to Never Never Land.
Where the world can't tell us to grow old.
Like Wendy and Peter, our love will grow stronger,
And true as the wonder we hold.
It's easy to get there, I know the way
With some fairy dust we could be soaring.
And we'll rest our dreams on feather weight wings,
First star to the right, on till morning.
ACE- 5/10/o8

To A Butterfly

You are so young,
You believe you are invincible.
Nothing could ever stop you.
You dance because in your mind,
There is nothing that isn't music.
You dream of colors that don't yet exist.
Every sound,
Every smell,
Every touch,
Is new and amazing.
The world is waiting for you to uncover it,
And no rock will remain unturned.
And yet,
I want to hold you back.
You want to chase the butterflys across the yard,
And out into the world,
And I just want to hold on to you.
Your innocnce is not permanent.
I want to tell you that this is a world,
Not like you imagine.
It's a cold, hard place.
And it steals childhood;
The one promise that is never kept.
I want to tell you that it isn't safe.
That there is danger
Waiting around every corner.
I want to protect you from everything that could hurt you,
And you just want to fly.
So, the best I can do is learn to fly too.
I can fall back into childhoods wonder.
I can be the one person that will find magic in everything with you.
And rediscover how fascinating it is
To watch birds land on the telephone wires.
Or how captivating the rain is when it falls.
Because I cannot protect you forever.
And God knows that I shouldn't even try.
But I can hold on to the innocence that childhood brings,
And maybe,
Together,
We can stay young.
And you can keep that inborn sence of wonder
That life is so eager to take away from you.