My Brothers Keeper

You are like a roller coaster.
Flying high one minute,
And then barreling toward the ground the next.
And it happens so fast.
I don't even know what triggers it.
I wonder if it is my fault.
Or the families.
But I can't think of anyone who doesn't love you.
And maybe I don't show it enough.
I don't know how to I guess.
But I do.
And you make me so scared.
So now I have decided that I need to do something.
I need to make sure that you don't hit the bottom again.
For you, yes,
But for my own sanity, and that of our mother.
You can't do this to everyone again.
You do it to me too,
But I have to be strong. Someone does.
It is a lot to take on, considering your history.
But I am going to try.
I will not let you fall off the radar.

The Truth

Actually, no. I am not okay.

I’m falling apart.

And I am terrified.

I m afraid that I might not make it without you.

That I won’t know what to do without you next to me.

I’m afraid that you won’t miss me like I will miss you.

That you will forget about us,

And the things we do,

And the way we live and dream.

I am afraid that you will leave like everyone else.

I am afraid to be alone.

You are all I have left.

And if you go away, there will be no one.

Don’t you understand that?

So, no.

I’m not okay at all.

I actually have to piece my heart back together every time you mention leaving.

Because just thinking about it,

About the way you dont seem to care at all

that we wont live next to each other anymore,

Hurts my heart.

I am clinging t what is left of my pride,

And doing all I can not to beg you to stay.

But You leaving wont just take away the man I’m in love with.

It will take away my best friend