A Beautiful Breakdown

I'm running out of ways of running away.
And it seems to be problematic.
Every time someone has to say goodbye,
Even if it's just a short term, "See ya later"
I freak.
I stutter, I stammer, I lose my ability to speak.
I usually give a quick hug (injuring me and the other person in the process) Fail to hear exactly what the departing person is saying, And turn and run. And I never look back. Never. I hate saying goodbye. It is such a terrible term. How is "bye" ever good? It isn't! It means the end! Case closed, class dismissed, over and out! I hate endings! I sleep with books for months after I finish reading them, hoping that somehow, more words will appear, telling me what happens next. I mean, just because there are no more chapters doesn't mean the story is over, right? There has to be more! I can't handle the term "no more". And I dread the words "you're out of time". It's so... resolute. So definite. So sure of itself. I never look back, because if I do, I will want to start over. I will want to stop the person from leaving, and hold another conversation with them, which only makes it harder, because I will have to say goodbye again! There is no way out! It's a vicious circle! Everything is a goodbye! And it sucks. It truely does. But, they say that every ending is just a new begining. Yes, it is. And it gives us more chances to say goodbye. But, as it seems, people are catching onto my weakness. They stop me from running. They grab my hand and yank me back, holding me close. Is it because you truely think I'm crazy? I swear, I'm not. Just afraid. Afraid of losing you. Yes, whoever you are, whoever is reading this, I am afraid of losing you. Of never seeing you again. Of being left alone. So, here's the deal. My one and only request. If you plan on being a passing ship in the night; on leaving at any time; let me run away from your goodbye. But if not, tell me so. And mean it. Because if I can trust you, I know that it'll be okay. And I will have nothing to run from. -Ash.