Hmmmmmmmm

He's the strong, silent type.
He's wondering what he's gotten himself into,
But he doesn't seem to mind.
He sits quietly,
Paciently,
Like sunlight on a window pane,
Grinning as I ramble on.
He never inturrupts,
Never complains,
Never questions.
He justs sits.
And listens.
He looks away where I seek out.
He stays quiet where I speak up.
He stays still while I run around.
And yet,
He has courage where I have nothing but fear.
He seems to enjoy being the stable center around which i spin.
All smiles, most of the time.
All positive outlook and compassion.
Clever and silly.
His silence is calming.
His stillness is serenity
In a chaotic and whirling place.
Always easy to find,
And the first one I look for.
Now, if I can just keep him happy,
This may have a happy ending...

Sound Check

The spotlight burns hot,
Distorting the faces of those I know, and the strangers in the audience.
I can hear feedback from the amps,
White noise and popping,
As if hollow and waiting to be filled.
The intro is a bit shaky.
I stumble over the first three chords.
Silence fills the crowd.
Then, something happens.
A jolt,
A twitch,
A flicker,
And the music has worked it's will.
Taking over my body.
My mind.
My soul.
It has me, now, by the heart strings.
Tugging away furiously,
Reaching into my inner core.
I can feel the power thrumming through me as people begin to clap.
I hear someone cheer,
Then another.
Then a whistle.
I don't know where these things are coming from,
And some of it I know I don't even notice.
Im way too far gone.
People stand to their feet as my fingers run like liquid over the fret board.
I build to a climax,
Then, when I have the audience at full attention,
I stop.
No more guitar.
A pause seems to last several millennia.
A hear a "shhhh!" from the stands.
I can't see their faces, but I can feel their eyes on me.
And I begin to sing again.
This time, accapella.
The song dies.
Comes to a crawl.
Sounds desperate.
Slowly, my fingers find their way back to the fret board.
First, simply picking a few strings,
Then, as if lighting up a bottle rocket,
I'm off again.
Stronger and faster than before.
Building the song back to it's final horrah.
It's close comes,
I strum the last chord,
Inhale for the first time.
And then there was the applause.
I could have lived of the applause.
I wanted to dive in and roll around in it.
People on their feet,
Screaming and hollering right into my ears.
Then, I smile.
Stand up.
And walk away.
What a rush.

You.

Please
Be pacient.
I am capable of love so huge that I cannot contain it.
I know because Ive felt it before.
Which is why I am so slow to give it away.
But I want to give it to you.
So don't give up on me yet.
I still have some details to hash out with myself.
Some arguments to end.
But then,
I will be all yours.
Because Id rather see others smiling, and happy,
Than anything else in the world.
The people I love.
And you fall under that category.
Sorry that you had to get me all hand-me-down and warn,
But Im still capable.
Still in good working condition.
And you can make it even better.
Im so glad you're finally in my life.
It took, what?
Seven years?
But finally,
You're here.
And I feel safe.
For the first time since my heart was crushed for the first time.
Really safe.
So don't go.
Let me show you that I can make you so happy.
I want to.
And I will.
Thank you.
For everything.